Opportunity Knocks Twice; Chapter 13

Editor's Note: Utah Pulse is serializing the book, 'Opportunity Knocks Twice,' by Don Hale, as told to Mark Hale. We'll publish two chapters a week. You'll enjoy the wit and wisdom of one of Utah's great entrepreneurs, founder of Hires Big H. To buy the book, click here.

SECTION FOUR
Listen to Others Wiser than You

We are in this life together. We all know those who are wiser and have had more experience than we have. Listen to them and contemplate the wisdom they share with you. If it rings true to you, run with it. That wisdom may take you further than you could perhaps go on your own. Eventually you may be able to provide wisdom in a similar way to others.
Wisdom can be found everywhere. Look in the usual places for it and in the unusual places. Those older and more experienced may have an abundance of wisdom, but children may have enough to surprise you. Think about what you hear wherever you go. Wisdom can be found everywhere; it is there for the discovery and the taking.

Be more interested in listening than in talking; you will learn more and can then give more.

Be watchful of others; analyze their successes and their failures to your own benefit.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Another Mentor

After I became a bishop, I quickly learned that Don Hale alone does not amount to much, but Don Hale with God as a partner amounts to a lot more. I think most people find that this is the case—life goes better when one includes God in it. Along with two great counselors, we served the members of our faith in our neighborhood for about five years.
One of the things members of my faith do in their religious services is give talks, and as a bishop I had to give a lot of them. Speaking in public required a lot of research and the ability to effectively deliver a message, neither of which I excelled at in the beginning. But you do what you have to do; and you never know what you can do until you try. And so I worked at it.
In the process of that work, I discovered a treasure of a man, the late LDS apostle and philosopher, Elder Neal A. Maxwell. Through his words, he became a personal mentor to me. He seemed to be able to peer into the heavens in order to make sense of what was happening on earth, globally as well as personally. I think I have read, over the years, every book that Neal Maxwell has written on the subject of religion and life and have made extensive notes on his writings. I especially like his counsel on the trials, tests, and challenges we all face and how our times of trial can become our times of greatest growth. In his book Things as They Really Are, Elder Maxwell teaches that “the things allotted to each were divinely customized according to our ability and capacity for us to seek to wrench ourselves free of every schooling circumstance in mortality is to tear ourselves away from matched opportunities.”

Looking back, I can see the reality of Elder Maxwell’s words in my own life. Family life and church service taught me to be more concerned with others than with myself, to be a better listener, to have more empathy for people, and to realize that everyone has challenges and worries. Family life and church service continue to teach me that the world does not revolve around me, as I thought it did when I was a lad. My mother was very doting, and always thought that the sun rose and set on her boy, Don. My wife was very tolerant. And since I was the boss of my own business, few people told me when I was wrong. As a consequence, I usually thought I was right. However, my children, over time, gained courage to stand up to me and tell me when I erred. And being in business has taught me how tough it can be to make a living and how complex life can be. I now realize that not everyone has as many opportunities as I have had, and that I am not always right.
I like what I remember the scholar, Dan Ludlow, saying: “Life ultimately means your accepting the responsibility to find the right answer to every important decision, for your decisions determine your destiny as you become a product of the choices you make.” I also like what I remember the educator George Durrant saying: “You can handle any problem in this life that you do not invite.”
What I like and appreciate about these men and their thoughts is what I lack in my own life—their gift for expression. I love their words and long to have their talent for articulation. But I do not and probably never will. I have, instead, become a disciple of adages. Adages allow me to express the things I feel and think but cannot gracefully put into words. Many nights after dinner, for as long as I can remember, I have retired to the little study in my room to read and take notes. My notes, typewritten or handwritten, record the profound thoughts and truths I have discovered reading. I must have hundreds of pages of notes taken in my attempt to catch up on what I did not learn during my formal education. It was not until later in life that I realized how important and valuable education is.

Constant learning narrows the gap between who you are and who you can become.